child consuming alcohol
gettodo posted on Tue, 05/11/2010 - 08:54
hi,
i am a long time member but first time message poster.
i have suspicion that my son consumes alcohol. he is just 13 years old now. this i am telling after observing this for 4-5 times.
when i saw my son's friends for the first time then i did not like but i did not say anything. i do not like telling bad things about anyone to my son.
i do not know how to tell him.
until now he shares many other event in his life. after telling this he may stop telling me and start hiding.
please suggest me how should i communicate that he should stop consuming alcohol.
thank you all.
sad to hear this. but reading your post, i am happy to see that you are not panicking and looking for right solution.
does someone else in your family also consume alcohol?
when was the first time you observed him having alcohol?
are you completely confident that he has had alcohol?
how did he develop his friendship? are they his school friends?
too many questions. but this will help in making informed comment.
does someone else in your family also consume alcohol?
my husband and i consume occasionally in party.
when was the first time you observed him having alcohol?
around 4 months back
are you completely confident that he has had alcohol?
yes i am. i have seen his behavior not normal on those days. initially i thought he is not well and wanted to take him to doctor. but his reaction to that and smells from his mouth confirmed that he had consumed alcohol
he plays with them in evening. they are not from his schools.
i am being patient. initially i thought it is just one time thing. he tried it. so let's not expose him. he will learn on his own and move on. but now we see that he has not left. still both my husband and i understand that this very sensitive. so we want to manage it tactfully. i do not want him to continue doing it but does more to hide it from me.
thank you gettodo for your response.
i am going to tell you what i think. pl. ignore if you do not like them.
First of all children wants to experiment. And when they know that there are things that others have it then they will be more prone to try them. in this case i believe the fact that you drink, will make him try this. if you really want him to stop then you should stop drinking. you may say that there are parents who drink but their kids don't.
well there is no rule here. all you can try is to do your best to reduce the chance of your child consuming alcohol.
once they have the drink they feel the difference. and also realize that they have done something that only adults do it. they enjoy this feeling of achievement more than the sensation of being drunk.
you can tell him truly that alcohol is not good for anyone. but you used to drink to give company to people. but you realize that this is not good. so you are going to leave it forever. and ask him to stop as well.
i am sure he will get this strength from you to leave it.
agree with brotherjohn.
setting example for the children is the best way to teach them.
at the same time being frank is equally important. my brother had drunk once when he was in class 8th or 9th. my father caught him. that night he just asked him to go to bed. next morning he took him aside and spoke to him individually. after that my brother never had any drink. even these days we talk about that incident.
i can not control if my son ever does that. but that is me.
i am little short tempered. especially in such things.
while try to be considerate but do not fear for a second. be bold in managing this. never let your son feel that you are being cautious and too gentle.