Raising a child in Joint Family - Good or Bad

9 replies [Last post]
  • simmy

Yesterday I met a friend who lives in a joint family. And she had lots of issues about her child being spoilt because of joint family. We had a lot of discussion on pros and cons of raising a child in joint family.
Before talking to her I was of the view that joint family can help raise a child with better understanding of life. But now I am totally confused. I am really interested in knowing your veiws about this.

  • zamzemzun

There are good and bad for everything. Since I have been brought up in a joint family I would like to point out some of the good things. Living in the joint family I learned to adjust and give values to others thoughts and views. I know what respecting elders and loving elders mean. I have seen kids who are raised in a nuclear family do not even know how they should behave with their elders.

I of the important thing is that I got a company of my cousins whenever I needed someone by my side. I have a brother but there is a big age difference between us so he is like a kid to me but I have cousins of my age with whom I do share my sorrows and joys till date.

  • dailymom

Joint family may not be always good until and unless there is a very good understanding among all the family members. I have a neighbor where two brothers live together with their family and parents. One of them is in a very high profile job while the other is into average job. I have seen the differences among the two because of which the kids are also suffering.
Due to the ill will in the family the kids are also told not to share things and I feel that the same kids could have a better value where they brought up in nuclear families.

  • arpitha

dailymom wrote:
Joint family may not be always good until and unless there is a very good understanding among all the family members. I have a neighbor where two brothers live together with their family and parents. One of them is in a very high profile job while the other is into average job. I have seen the differences among the two because of which the kids are also suffering.
Due to the ill will in the family the kids are also told not to share things and I feel that the same kids could have a better value where they brought up in nuclear families.

Everything has its own share of good and bad. As dailymom mentioned there is a lot of comparisons in a joint family but if we take the positive side of it this will help the kids become competitive to get more and they will work hard towards it. And if one learns to be competitive and win then that is the best thing he can learn to life life in this world.

  • binisha

My thoughts are, joint family can provide a very good environment for a child if there is a good understanding among the family members. But as we know the human nature there cannot be an ideal there could be circumstances where things will be adverse and if the family members are able to be together at these point it can be very good.
But on the negative side which as mentioned by dailymom we find in very other family one person trying to score above another this could be a very bad base for kids.

  • sixmiss

I am totally against raising children in a joint family. I gave birth to my two children when I was living with my in laws. And I have a feeling being in joint family I could not take care of my babies the way I wanted and also I could not teach them proper behavior and values as there where many other people who would not bother if they behaved badly.
Staying with a joint family you have many more responsibilities related to other things and one has less and less time for their own kids. Also I had to listen to my in laws and they would not even let me scold my kids when they did wrong. My youngest daughter was born when me and my hubby started staying on our own and I feel I have been able to raise her better.

  • simmy

I can see the thoughts from your experience. Its really nice to know the different feeling each one of has about being in a joint family. What I think that being in a joint family one can definitely benefit by help from various family members but it has its own share of hardships and we may end up blaming others for any fault.

Being in a nuclear family only the parents have the responsibility of raising the child. And if one is able to grow a happy and confident child in the end you have to give a pat on your back Smile

  • Magnum

One very big advantage of living in a joint family is that if you are able to raise your kids well they learn to adjust with people and environment. They can adapt to any type of circumstances.

Living in a nuclear family a child is confined to live with parents and when they really get exposed to the outside world there are hell lot of challenges waiting for them.

  • kirtimom

Seems to be a good discussion.
In our India society we have a culture of joint family still exiting.
Otherwise its not seen anywhere else in the world I guess.
Its such a sweet display of relationship. And I guess all of us has seen different good and bad aspects of this joint family in the television serials that are being shown these days.

But from my experience I can tell its never the extreme its never as good and never as bad. But with the growing age of competition I think its very difficult to survive in a joint family. Definitely your kid will get to see some strange aspects of life at a very early age and it can have adverse affect on the child's mind.

  • petrescue

This is good! Because your child will explore more and having a joint family is not always spoiling your child but also discipline some member of the family. - Adam LaFavre