Dealing With Miscarriage During Pregnancy
It is a very important issue for all pregnant women dealing with miscarriage. No one likes to think about a miscarriage, but the truth is that most pregnant women do anyways. Whether a first pregnancy or subsequent one, women know the odds and the lurking fear that a miscarriage can occur, clouds over the first trimester of pregnancy.
Research by the American Academy of Obstetrics suggests that little more than half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Many of these occur within a few days of conception and can be experienced as ‘late periods’.
Most of the remaining miscarriages occur before the 12th week of pregnancy when the DNA and genetic information for the fetus are being developed and are a result of an unhealthy fetus.
Some can be the result of maternal health issues and some, seems to have no meaning at all. Whether they happen early or late, dealing with a miscarriage is never easy.
It is important to understand that very few in the medical community completely understand the pains a mother goes through when she suffers dealing with a miscarriage. It isn’t because they don’t care, but because they have built up immunity to the occurrence of them.
For the doctors caring for you, it is nothing more than an occupational hazard. For mom, it can be a heartbreaking turn of events. There are of course many others in your life who will try to comfort you in the best way they know-how.
You will hear phrases like “everything happens for a reason” or “you will have another baby someday” and none of them will make you feel better.
The bottom line is that you have to allow yourself to grieve and move through the transitional pain and emotions that you are feeling.
The first emotion will no doubt be anger. You will be seething with anger, not understanding why it happened to you and frustrated all at the same time.
You will resent other women who have seemingly perfect pregnancies and will cringe at the sight of a pregnant woman. This is a natural way to feel especially because the cause of miscarriage is often such a mystery.
Even if your faith allows you to feel comforted, you may find that you question it as well. The anger is fueled by hormones that will ebb and flow after miscarriage very similarly to how they do after birth.
The next feeling that you will feel is a loss. It is important to validate the life you had inside of you in some way that works for you. Other people will not understand how connected you were to the growing baby or the idea of having a child.
Planting a tree that will bloom each year, journaling your entry and creating some sort of service to your heart that commemorates life can help memorialize things for you. This is an important part of the grieving process!
Another aspect of dealing with a miscarriage is to ensure that you take care of yourself and share your feelings with others. This can mean joining a support group, reaching out to others and treating your self special.
It is vital to remember that miscarriage is not a form of punishment and there is no one and nothing to blame. There are many things that occur naturally, toward which you have no control over and this is absolutely one of them.
For so many women, a miscarriage feels like the end of a dream. Take heart – as most women whether knowingly or not experience a miscarriage in their life and it actually makes you more normal than otherwise!
Whatever you do, don’t pretend that it didn’t happen, feel ashamed or guilty and never allow any preconceived notion to make you feel as though you are silly for not wanting to forget the event.
After all, a miscarriage is something both physical and emotional and it is absolutely necessary to motor through your emotions and allow your physical body time to heal.