Marriage Relationship Problems After Having a Baby
The Importance of Taking a Break from Parenthood to be a Couple. Today we will focus here marriage relationship problems after having a baby.
Motherhood is a 24 hours, 7 day a week job that encompasses your wake times as well as your dreams. Every mother will tell you that the constant stress, worry and hustle and bustle of raising a family can be exhausting.
Many new parents find that when baby comes into the picture, their relationship with their spouse changes drastically as well. In just a matter of months you can go from being best friends to hardly knowing each other and resentments, animosity and frustration can build up almost unnoticed.
There is nothing wrong with being submersed in your role as a parent, but you owe it to yourself, your spouse and your family to take a break from motherhood every so often to make time for your other relationships.
Statistics show that marriages are most susceptible to affairs or divorce within the first 24 months of having a child. This is just one of the reasons it is important to pay attention to your life as a whole when you are raising children.
First of all, realize that you and your partner will immediately find that you definitely clash on certain ideas of raising children. Few partnerships discuss how to raise children and the what if’s of having a baby before one is born.
Then suddenly, you realize that you are prone to doing things one way while your spouse has an entirely different approach. Who is right? Which way is better? The answer really is neither.
Each of you came from different families that went about routines differently. You were raised differently on many levels and a baby brings all of those differences to the murky surface.
Your best bet is to respect each other’s ways of changing diapers or handling children (as long as they are both loving) and to work harder on the relationship than trying to control or convince a partner.
The second thing to realize is that it is normal to feel so in love with your child that you forget you were ever in love before. You and your partner are no doubt guilty of paying attention to the baby all the time.
Yet, this can leave the relationship empty. Try to make moments in every day to cherish each other and remind one another how special the bond between the two of you is.
Don’t forget that hugs, even when you are covered in spit-up, can go miles to change the mood in your home and that thoughtfulness should be extended in both directions.
Take a time – out each day to enjoy your spouse and set the boundary that shows your children mom and dad are important as well. The older your kids get the more they will emulate what they see and the more important it is that mom and dad stand as a united front.
Another aspect of taking a break from motherhood is to take care of your self along the way. It’s easy to not find the time to shower or get your hair done.
The problem is that this can snowball into a lack of self confidence that is often displaced on a spouse. In other words, just because you don’t feel good about your body or looks you assume your spouse feels the same way. Caring for yourself ensures you keep your confidence and esteem.
Many couples face the controversy of gender roles in the early years of having children. In fact, many amicable and equal relationships will subconsciously fall into gender roles without really meaning too.
Before long, the resentment of always being the one to bathe the baby or take out the trash can wreak havoc on your relationship. Openly discuss what needs to be done and if one parent stays home, don’t assume that their duties are matronly.
If you need help, ask for it without being condescending or angry. Often, relationships fail because in the midst of parenthood couples quit talking to each other and are reduced to spouting off angry orders.
Take time at the end of each day, no matter how exhausted you are, to have a calm discussion of how things are going and what could be better. This way you will stay on the same page.
Last, but certainly not least – don’t let the baby make you a prisoner. Get out of the house, go on a date, spend some time alone without the baby so that you will always remember what it is you like about each other.
Don’t be recluse and even if you are too tired to consider going to dinner, do it anyways. The more times you put it off now, the longer the road back to togetherness will be.
For a few hours your baby will be just fine with a sitter or trusted family member and when you return you will have recharged your relationship batteries. This can be a huge help to keeping your relationship on track.
Having a baby can definitely change people, but it doesn’t have to be negative. If you are willing to take a break from motherhood and being a parent so that you can be a woman and man, you will find that the happy family of your dreams can be a reality.
There are no second chances to do this and many couples realize years too late that they have neglected each other in the name of parenthood. The stronger you and your partner remain, the stronger your family life will be and the happier your child will be in the end.
-Thanks a lot for reading my article – Marriage Relationship Problems After Having a Baby. Hopefully you read and enjoy. Have a good day!